Can we just give this kid a round of applause?
*clap clap clap*
omg if i wanted a comeback
i cant listen to the french part in partition bc i ALWAYS have flashback to the time a guy told me to speak french in his ear while we were doin it bc i had said i took 4 years of it when we were flirtin and he thought that meant i was good and i just said apple juice in french and he came
The Fault in Our Stars a.k.a. “you could literally throw this book at my face and it wouldn’t hurt nearly as much as the story”
if you kill a guy who has a boner does his penis continue to be erect or what
Yes. It does actually. And when they go to the morgue to be prepared for burial, the person cleaning them up and such breaks it so it lays flat.
“So what do you do for a living?
“I put makeup on dead people and snap boners.”
When i was little i wanted to grow up to be a disney princess but im pretty sure i just became Yzma
"…and he hasn’t been home in a few days"
Let’s play a game called “I’m totally joking, but would do that in a heartbeat if you were into it”
well this annoying thing happens like every day:
I JUST SHOWED MY MOMS THIS AND NOW THEY THINK THEY’RE INTERNET CELEBRITIES